GuideToVaping’s Holiday Giveaway – Giveaway Is Over

Vaper From Nantuckett….

whos provari was so long he could

keep his PV collection in a bucket

but his diy kit was a cupboard

“I’m THE C.E.O” he shouts as he pulls the mod from his mouth.

He picked up his bottle of Oatmeal Cookie and proceeded to drip

into his atty and then herd a clatter he sprang to his feet to see what in the hell was the matter,

with his left hand, turned the Christmas Tree Green from Box Elder nic

He thought about suing but it was too late, the CEO into the silent night had fled….

And kept vapin’

into the next day, as the sun was on the rise…

It was a new day, a vaping day

Christmas was here and the kids were at play

(However, being under the legal age for purchasing tobacco related products, said children were deemed irrelevant from this story and henceforth deleted.)

and all the adults were vaping on their new lava Tubes and juices

no longer would they need disgusting cigarettes and snuses

as the room filled with the smell of wet dreams

not the typical ones it seems… these were fueled by red dawrins and custom empires… not those typical, boring human desires… and losing out to all the self control they could muster… a shout to the heavens was heard… i’d give my left nut… for 30 mls of fuzzbuster

and hopefully I will see a lavatube in my stocking for Christmas.

Or better yet, a lavaube on my lips.

Tasting of blue spot or pink spot or something more festive..

like a year old Fruit Cake vape he found

“All I want for Christmas is variable voltage!” he says as he…

dug through pant pockets and every drawer in the house, what he found was…

all the different “e-Cigs” and “Mods” avalable to him . . .

then quickly started vaping on his Bombshell with such glorious delight!

He puts the Bombshell down and drips a few drops of eggnog juice into his year old eGo.

but his battery was getting as low as his lady’s desire for him

he put the battery on a charger and a condom on his carto after he filled it with juice

his lady surprised him with vaping a spiffy Hog Mod

So he sent an email to his buddy Mr. Green, that’s Grimm. Looking up from his Ming, he said…

“I’ve got to play the hand I was dealt” and he removed her Hog Mod and told her to grab the beautiful Blue Reos Grand that was loaded with Baileys and Coffee from Pink Spot and began to vape himself into a coma…

again, it was time for his holiday charge…

But his charger was shot, it was all for naught. How will I vape he thought? I will build a passthru you see, but what will I mod? He sat down to ponder and when all looked bleak…

A box mod for ol saint nick, that will do the trick.

and a touch of alien visions for bobas he did seek….

So off to his secret stash he went.

Grimm Green was grim. He had not a mechanical bone in his body; and the box mod needed not the found AW high drain 18650, but instead a 16340! He went…

To grab his purple headed Monkeyboxx and make some Pipe Sauce for his Lavatube so he doesn’t…

run out in his carto.

He looks to his lanyard, his driptipped Silver Bullet

his candy cane swirled drip tip

raised it toward his face.. and then on his lips…

…but the Silver Bullet in question had been purchased from the classifieds and had been modded into a light saber. The poor vaper was killed instantly and the FDA swooped in to regulate the industry. George Lucas could not be reached for comment.

a powerful man walks in, looking like some vaping greek. The man takes a huge hit at the highest voltage on his lavatube and sprays the FDA with “lot o vapor” and “lot o flavor”, ultimately switching them into now believers. Weirdly, they all loved the taste so they started

licking each other just for remembrance of vapor flavor.

a polka dotted gnome appeared, and declared in a gruff tone…

“Keep yer hands off me juice”

Or I’ll mod you into a clone.

and that’s not the worst of it yet.

See, the gnome wasn’t wearing any pants! He started to spin around in circles REALLY fast and all of the sudden

the gnome cops spotted him in a whirlwind of vapor and skin flashing and

they were really confused and

told him…”FREEZE!!!!”, your under arrest for…

vaping in suffolk county ny

while wearing a mask

But the gnome had a few tricks up his sleeve. He whipped out his magic vaping wand and POOOF! He turned the gnome cops into…

bottles of his favorite juice, cappuccino and dark chocolate brownie! He took his new bottles of juice and….

rode away on a sparkling unicorn, with PV for a horn.

And out of nowhere a silver bullet shot through the sky and unicorn shot dead, so the Gnome fell with favorite juices but was saved by his spiral drip shield.

Then his fairy Mod mother The Great Mamu appeared and granted him 3 wishes. The first was …

A brand new shiny Silver Bullet, the second was

A gallon of Honey Cured Tabacco from Pink Spot Vapors, the last wish was

..a DCA upper to fit his io6 atty so that he could..

make mega clouds of vapor that lingered so long that you would think…

it was a dream sequence in a movie. EXCEPT that when the smoke cleared, there was Papa Smurf with a . . . .

brand new box mod, waving his atty in the air.

saying,where’s the juice,where’s the juice!

When out of no where they hear a cackle “It’s all mine.” (gargamel)

having row after row of 10mls 30mls 50mls of juice

But unfortunately for him it was all BlueMist juice

so he cast a wicked spell and turned it into Smurph Piss from JuicyVapor and

Vapes it happily while singing

oh shit, shake that ass ma, move it like a gypsy
stop, woah, back it up, now let me see your hips SWING
stop, woah, back it up, now let me see your hips SWING
now drop it looooow and let me see your hips SWING
down to the floooor now let me see your hips SWING

He stops singing and hopes for a bottle of candy cane juice to refill this tank…

and dreams of LavaTubes now bouncing in his head.

He says WTF and gets a bombshell instead

With his BombShell he figures the only juice that will power it would be Nuke Juice, of course.

so he drips in the juice one drop, two drops, three.

Fizzzzzz…needs more Nuke. 4, 5, 6. The TH is like nothing he’s ever felt.

then…POP…goes the atty 🙁

he pretends that it wasn’t his fault and tells everyone its just another jeannieK atty… everyone knew that she kills atties!!

so he goes to mostangryinsudstries.com to get a MAP tank

but he didn’t have enough money so he made a K-tank!

He squeezed the bottle, the carto flooded…

he took a vape….dammit dammit as the juice dripping off his lips….God i am a dumbass….

and to think, all he got from all this frustration was this lame dumbass t-shirt with a llama on it

suddenly a light blinks at him, its a new battery charged and ready to use, digs through his tackle box of ecig gear, grabs a bridgless atty, blows the atty out for good measure , then drips some camel toe ftw,

gets 3 good hits from it, “OMG so nice” he says, and then…………..POP!

…goes his knee, so he grabs for his nicely steeped bottle of Menthol Ice.

He quickly pours it into his tank.

After filling up the K-tank he looks around & says to himself “where’s my Ming tip?!?!”…

because all I can find is a ming vase

although elegant with taste,
he could not vape on the ming vase,
and he dreamt of owning a Gold Rush
the thought of it made him blush…

…and as he is distracted looking for the drip tip….all the juice drains out of the freakin’ tank…

“Oo my steeped menthol ice!!!” by the time he noticed half of tank leaked all over the place “Ah! can’t belive I only have half tank of my favorite vape left!! and the reat are ALL bluemist”:-( …

“Well, crab juice it is then” he stated… so he filled a new carto and sat down and waited…

A toot on his pv as his stresses abated. “For a shellfish, this juice is delicious.” he stated.

Ten minutes later he passed out on the floor,
It wasn’t really crab juice, but rancid RY4

But the RY4 was poisoned. Probably shouldn’t have ordered that stuff from Libya.

he remember reading something about this on Guidetovaping.com

And found out that vaping Antedote from RAWR would cure his ails.

He then got a new PV from Santa. It was the legendary un-named PV. It had every feature imaginable. A battery that never died and a mystical part that created any juice the user wanted.

he assembled it all together, dripped some juice on that golden atty, first vape there was a nice sweet flavor with th and billowing clouds of vapor

The second vape was laced with cinnamon and clove, the vapor shimmered like holiday tinsel

The third vape, however was not so great. Instead he got a puff of the one thing we all hate. The taste of the dry atty made him look at it and yell, “Man, I just dripped in this stupid thing, what the hell?!”

The fog was so thick, it acted like a vape signal for Santa Clause

And the light on the PV lit up the fog like Rudolph’s nose.

and the battery’s nice and charged to continue waiting all night for Santa to arrive.

But oh no, the electricity went out and the PVs were lost!

So he took out his mini mag mod and restored the flashlight head beginning his search under his bed.

And there was the Ghost of PV Past puffing on a blu and breaking all the Provaris of the world while laughing and listening to bad “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” covers by the Dixie Chicks.

Then came Good Witch casting a spell on the Ghost of PV Past. She waived her wan and all the broken Provaris was once again just like new.

Not too long ago when I first started vaping, I discovered this awesome way to modify myself to become a ecig and I call myself VAPORTRON

and I began to save the world, one PV at time… until….

…my tank ran dry of my delicious Pink Spot juice. This is when I realized my powers were derived from those magical elixirs. VAPORTRON had been rendered powerless. Just then…

there was a world wide blackout and…

all about the land a sound a new sound could be heard . It was so mysterious, and strange, as to send a chill up the spine. A ghostly wail of the lost and hopeless kind. “Why oh Why is a 808 to 510 adapter so damn hard to find!”

It’s not, it’s not! Said the Hummingbird so kind. I too have been in this sort of bind. Call Santa right now. Call Santa today, and this is what he shall have to say……………….

I’ve checked my list, I’ve checked it twice, now don’t let my vapor turn into ice…!

Drawing on his box mod as he flew making clouds vapor bringing the adapter straight out to you…

and said take it my son, there’s no need to come undone, I have a few, not just one…

And an 808 battery so an adaptor, you need none, just….

juice up a carto and throw away all your smokes…

And in the trash they went, as the he took up his PV. He inhaled a drag and exclaimed, “This ones for me!”. So hwitg one last glance …

and never an analog he has had since….

with the vapor produced and the throat hit to boot he never stood a chance…

so he vaped and he vaped and did his PV dance!! Until…

he realized Vaping Monkey was on “ohh crap i gotta win the hookah mod!!!!!”

BUT–what to do with my other 21 mods????
I know 🙂 Give them all to—–

…noobs, to help save their bods: from the evils of smoking and smelling like dogs!

And the dog looked up with terrible disgust knowing he was covered with that yucky smoky stuff

shook himself…. turned around three times… and curled up on the floor with a sigh…

while his mistress picked up her ProVari and smiled

but then chose her new REO Woodvill 18490 and some vaped some vapetastic Rawr Banana Cream Pie, all the while logging onto VapeTVlive and to her surprise who did she see…

Zombie Micheal Jackson peering in from a tree.

as she grabbed her 44. she hit the front door shot jackson down and laughed like a clown. as she hit her PV she decided to drip some sweet..

Butterscotch maple just for me! It’s better than cookies!

But not better than a chocolate Santa…so she bit off his head, and while the chocolate was melting in her mouth, she vaped the butterscotch maple, feeling and tasting the flavors meld

and meld they did…but what was that strange undertone?

So she switched to her ggtb at 8.4v, and was amazed at the vaper and flavor!

It wasnt the taste of a bad carto…. Oh well just up the voltage on the provari and she vaped on! But soon her mouth was flooded with a Maple Butterscotch mess! O_O

and as she spat it out, she kept thinking, who in the &^%&^ would mix maple and butterscotch together, is this supposed to be good?

Clearly all that’s left to do is, watch the guide to vaping giveaway !!!

Or use Guide to Vaping to purchase some Essence ELP liquid….Lunar Mint is awesome at 6V on my Lavatube…

And good luck to all!

And with that, this contest is now closed. Tune in to GTV tonight at 9PM Est. to see if you’ve won. Good luck and thanks for playing!

And when the winner is picked we will all say yay! Hoping that it will be our name that is picked.

well damn closed while i was posting lol.

Orion- You were posting as I posted- so we’ll count yours. Your in!

See you all at
in a couple of hours!